Oops I crapped my pants-seriously!

*Bonus post! Aren't you lucky little readers tonight? :)

This post was started a long time ago... I never finished it-but I feel that I owe you this ridiculous story that truly happened to me. I apologize that there aren't any pictures-but lets be honest-no one should have to see what I saw. I apologize for the swears you are about to read-but when someone is in a predicament like this-I promise you that there are no other words that will come to your mind!

So I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure that being fat really messes with your body. I've had so many issues with my body in the past couple of years and all of my problems can be linked to stress (shocker) and obesity. I've had female problems, hormone issues, stomach problems, dry skin, depression, anxiety, and migraines. I've sat on countless doctor's tables only to be embarrassed by the doctor telling me that if I lost some weight the problem would most likely go away.

So they put me on medications-medications to "fix" the problem or to mask it. One of the medications I'm on has the side effect of weight gain. This really pisses me off. How in the hell can I lose weight when I'm on a pill (to fix a problem caused by obesity) that makes me gain weight.

So tonight I decided that I was going to fight against this pill by going for a little "jog". I was so cool! I had my ipod playing some rockin' tunes, I had my new kicks on and Abbey was on her leash running along side of me. Well as I rounded the corner about a block away from my house it hit me. I had to go to the bathroom-and there was NO TIME to wait. I tried to pick up my speed-but lets be honest... even zombies chasing me couldn't make me run that much faster-especially when I am feeling my stomach exploding with each step.

"Run faster!" I thought... "you'll crap your pants" I was pleading with my body to give it all it had and get me home before I had the biggest and most embarrassing accident of the century. As I turned down my street I could see my apartment only a tenth of a mile away...the sweat was dripping down my face, "come on Jess!" I was screaming at myself... but it was no good.... shhhhhhtttttttttttttt.

I was there outside of my home-running-and it was happening-shit was filling up my drawers. There was nothing I could do to stop it. As the tears ran down my face I waddled the rest of the way home. What could I do? I ripped everything off (once inside of my house) and literally put it in a garbage bag and threw it away. I can't believe that this happened to me-but I am hoping that I am not alone. In a way I think that is why I'm sharing this incredibly embarrassing story with you-in hopes that one of you out there has done this very thing. So please feel free to share! Come on you know you wanna!

When hubs got home that night the first thing I said to him was, "Don't judge me. I shit my pants tonight. I feel that its important that you know that. Cause yeah... I shit my pants. I hope you still love me." I stood there waiting for my husband to be disgusted with me... but it didn't come. Instead he started laughing. We laughed so hard I almost ended up on the floor.

So that was the night that I shit my pants and found out that my husband must really love me.

**I'm no longer on the said weight gaining medication mentioned! HURRAY!!! But I still get nervous about going out for a jog on a bad stomach.