Fat is whack-not PHAT!

This sh*t is working! I'm sorry for the swear-but to me it is the only way I can completely express my excitement without being there in front of your face. For the past two years I have literally been the same weight. No matter how well I tracked my weight watchers points, no matter how much exercise I did (even training for and running a 5K) the number on the scale wouldn't budge. I can't even describe the disappointment and discouragement that I felt from being stuck on stupid. Thanks to some very significant life changes (losing my job) I have been given a gift to change my life.

I started really focusing on my weight about nine weeks ago. My family's Biggest Loser competition has helped me to break my two year slump and to actually start losing weight! I have tormented my body in so many ways (yes I consider putting so much extra weight on to be torment)-but the best torture that I've ever put it through is to push myself through Bob Harper's Inside-Out Method workouts. After three weeks of my intense focus I have lost 12 pounds and several inches, I feel stronger, look better naked and have more energy!

I have always described myself as a skinny girl trapped in a fat girl's body. I love to flirt! I flirt with everyone. Well the saddest part about my weight gain was that I really lost my confidence to flirt. This weight has held me back, stopped me from feeling comfortable in my own skin and has completely blocked me from being me. Well no more! Look out! I am finally getting me back. My husband is getting the wife that he fell in love with. I feel good. I've been flirting and smiling and just feeling so happy. I encourage all of you skinny girls that are trapped in a fat girl's body to get up and do something about it.

I got some backlash (even a smack on the head from Soph) from a comment that I made in my Weight Watchers meeting on Saturday-but I absolutely believe its true. I said, "Get addicted to working out." My wonderful leader-Leanore-was leading the group through a discussion about our "self-sabotaging" behaviors. As I sat there and listened to people listing their behaviors that landed them in weight watchers it occurred to me that all of the behaviors involved an addiction to food. I have fought that addiction for most of my life. I used food as a celebration, I used food to make me feel good, I used food as a way to be "sneaky", I used food to cheer me up when I was sad or feeling rejected. Well now-I'm starting to use exercise instead of food. I say starting because I feel like I still have a long way to go. I still don't think my eating is that great-I'm just tracking my calories better. But that's what this is all about. Life is a journey, life is a dance and life is fun!