*Bonus post! Aren't you lucky little readers tonight? :)
This post was started a long time ago... I never finished it-but I feel that I owe you this ridiculous story that truly happened to me. I apologize that there aren't any pictures-but lets be honest-no one should have to see what I saw. I apologize for the swears you are about to read-but when someone is in a predicament like this-I promise you that there are no other words that will come to your mind!
So I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure that being fat really messes with your body. I've had so many issues with my body in the past couple of years and all of my problems can be linked to stress (shocker) and obesity. I've had female problems, hormone issues, stomach problems, dry skin, depression, anxiety, and migraines. I've sat on countless doctor's tables only to be embarrassed by the doctor telling me that if I lost some weight the problem would most likely go away.
So they put me on medications-medications to "fix" the problem or to mask it. One of the medications I'm on has the side effect of weight gain. This really pisses me off. How in the hell can I lose weight when I'm on a pill (to fix a problem caused by obesity) that makes me gain weight.
So tonight I decided that I was going to fight against this pill by going for a little "jog". I was so cool! I had my ipod playing some rockin' tunes, I had my new kicks on and Abbey was on her leash running along side of me. Well as I rounded the corner about a block away from my house it hit me. I had to go to the bathroom-and there was NO TIME to wait. I tried to pick up my speed-but lets be honest... even zombies chasing me couldn't make me run that much faster-especially when I am feeling my stomach exploding with each step.
"Run faster!" I thought... "you'll crap your pants" I was pleading with my body to give it all it had and get me home before I had the biggest and most embarrassing accident of the century. As I turned down my street I could see my apartment only a tenth of a mile away...the sweat was dripping down my face, "come on Jess!" I was screaming at myself... but it was no good.... shhhhhhtttttttttttttt.
I was there outside of my home-running-and it was happening-shit was filling up my drawers. There was nothing I could do to stop it. As the tears ran down my face I waddled the rest of the way home. What could I do? I ripped everything off (once inside of my house) and literally put it in a garbage bag and threw it away. I can't believe that this happened to me-but I am hoping that I am not alone. In a way I think that is why I'm sharing this incredibly embarrassing story with you-in hopes that one of you out there has done this very thing. So please feel free to share! Come on you know you wanna!
When hubs got home that night the first thing I said to him was, "Don't judge me. I shit my pants tonight. I feel that its important that you know that. Cause yeah... I shit my pants. I hope you still love me." I stood there waiting for my husband to be disgusted with me... but it didn't come. Instead he started laughing. We laughed so hard I almost ended up on the floor.
So that was the night that I shit my pants and found out that my husband must really love me.
**I'm no longer on the said weight gaining medication mentioned! HURRAY!!! But I still get nervous about going out for a jog on a bad stomach.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Go For It!
Ok so yesterday I confessed to you that I want to be rad and today I'm unveiling my new motto- GO FOR IT! I'm going to starting Going for it! In everything that I do-I want to do it well, do it with a smile and do it with passion. As a passionate person my lack of "radness" has really started to get me down. I'm finding it hard to remember the last rad thing I did. So here I go. Today I am absolutely certain that I can Go For It!
I learned a lesson about myself last month that I'd like to share with you. In November I was asked to participate in a holiday boutique-specifically I was asked to have a baked goods table. So many thoughts and feelings ran through my mind about doing this. I felt excited, scared, and I doubted my talents. After some major pep talking from the people I trust most-I decided to go for it. And you know what? I found bliss! I absolutely loved baking! In the midst of the joy I was feeling I actually started to feel like I could do anything. I was so caught up in my excitement and passion that I literally started to think that there wasn't a recipe that I couldn't conquer-not a craft I couldn't attempt and not a thing that I could not do.
Unfortunately I started letting in my negative thoughts again and those thoughts attempted to hold me back. Well today with my new motto, "Go For It", those negative thoughts are going to have to hitch a ride back to Negativeville. I'm going to go for it! I have some Valentine's Day crafts that I'm going to share with you. I hope that you will enjoy them and I hope that they will somehow inspire you to Go For It, to really find your own passion, find what moves you and just GO FOR IT!
Oh my gosh-I almost forgot to tell you about a few of my favorite things that are bringing me some happiness during this cold winter!
1. MAC- For many years I have been a devoted Laura Mercier girl, and while I still love Laura... I've decided to add some fun to my life and enjoy the MAC life! My favorite thing from MAC right now is the pigments! I absolutely love these versatile jar of color! It looks like someone broke your eyeshadow and put it into a little jar. You can use them wet, dry, mixed in with other things i.e. clear nail polish, clear lip gloss... anything you can think of. I'm obsessed. My latest purchase is magenta madness-it is basically hot pink! It is so much fun and perfect for Valentines' Day! Don't be afraid of color-rad people are not afraid of color!
2. Coconut Oil- Why have I not jumped on this band wagon sooner? I have only been using coconut oil a week and I feel like my skin will never be the same. Coconut oil has evened out my skin tone, it has healed blemishes and overall made my skin glow! I hear that I should be eating at least 1 tablespoon of it today-I'll let you know how this goes. I love it!! I just wish that someone would have told me about it earlier.
3. Groopdealz/Very Jane Ok so you will either love me or hate me for showing you these websites. I hope that you will love me! Groopdealz and Very Jane are daily boutique type websites that have several items available every day at an extremely discounted price. I am addicted to both of these sites and am having so much fun with both of them. I've been able to get a lot of fun anthropology/j crew type jewelry without paying the anthropology/ j crew prices. :) Check them out!!!
4. HomeGoods- Oh HomeGoods! I love you. I can not explain how much fun I have going to HomeGoods! I love to look at all of the creative things I could put in my home. I've decorated and redecorated my apartment in my mind about 50 times during my visits to HomeGoods. I get lots of inspiration and some fun gems in this store and I really can't wait for the day when I have a home to decorate! If you've never been to HomeGoods-do yourself a favor and check it out!
I learned a lesson about myself last month that I'd like to share with you. In November I was asked to participate in a holiday boutique-specifically I was asked to have a baked goods table. So many thoughts and feelings ran through my mind about doing this. I felt excited, scared, and I doubted my talents. After some major pep talking from the people I trust most-I decided to go for it. And you know what? I found bliss! I absolutely loved baking! In the midst of the joy I was feeling I actually started to feel like I could do anything. I was so caught up in my excitement and passion that I literally started to think that there wasn't a recipe that I couldn't conquer-not a craft I couldn't attempt and not a thing that I could not do.
Unfortunately I started letting in my negative thoughts again and those thoughts attempted to hold me back. Well today with my new motto, "Go For It", those negative thoughts are going to have to hitch a ride back to Negativeville. I'm going to go for it! I have some Valentine's Day crafts that I'm going to share with you. I hope that you will enjoy them and I hope that they will somehow inspire you to Go For It, to really find your own passion, find what moves you and just GO FOR IT!
Oh my gosh-I almost forgot to tell you about a few of my favorite things that are bringing me some happiness during this cold winter!
1. MAC- For many years I have been a devoted Laura Mercier girl, and while I still love Laura... I've decided to add some fun to my life and enjoy the MAC life! My favorite thing from MAC right now is the pigments! I absolutely love these versatile jar of color! It looks like someone broke your eyeshadow and put it into a little jar. You can use them wet, dry, mixed in with other things i.e. clear nail polish, clear lip gloss... anything you can think of. I'm obsessed. My latest purchase is magenta madness-it is basically hot pink! It is so much fun and perfect for Valentines' Day! Don't be afraid of color-rad people are not afraid of color!
2. Coconut Oil- Why have I not jumped on this band wagon sooner? I have only been using coconut oil a week and I feel like my skin will never be the same. Coconut oil has evened out my skin tone, it has healed blemishes and overall made my skin glow! I hear that I should be eating at least 1 tablespoon of it today-I'll let you know how this goes. I love it!! I just wish that someone would have told me about it earlier.
3. Groopdealz/Very Jane Ok so you will either love me or hate me for showing you these websites. I hope that you will love me! Groopdealz and Very Jane are daily boutique type websites that have several items available every day at an extremely discounted price. I am addicted to both of these sites and am having so much fun with both of them. I've been able to get a lot of fun anthropology/j crew type jewelry without paying the anthropology/ j crew prices. :) Check them out!!!
4. HomeGoods- Oh HomeGoods! I love you. I can not explain how much fun I have going to HomeGoods! I love to look at all of the creative things I could put in my home. I've decorated and redecorated my apartment in my mind about 50 times during my visits to HomeGoods. I get lots of inspiration and some fun gems in this store and I really can't wait for the day when I have a home to decorate! If you've never been to HomeGoods-do yourself a favor and check it out!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
I Just Want to be Rad
Man I want to be rad! I've been thinking about it for a few weeks now and I've come to the conclusion that I just want to be rad. That is really all I want in life. I'm 100% convinced that if I am able to become rad-then I will be happy and healthy. Some of my friends (I swear that I paid them nothing) are actually under the assumption that I am already rad-but honestly ladies-I have a confession: I am so not rad.
I have had a lot of time on my hands during the last several months. This time has given me an opportunity to relax, think and over think every single decision that I've made in my life. Some of the decisions that I have made in my past were edgy, cool and sometimes even hip-but lately I feel like I've got a bad case of the blahs and the blase-ness has taken over any part of me that may have been cool. It is awful to admit this-but I am ready to change.
So I decided that I was going to be rad. I'm not really sure how one becomes "rad", the way I see it some people are just born cool. For me being "rad" looks like this. Ok but seriously lets think about what it means to be rad. According to urban dictionary rad means:
I have had a lot of time on my hands during the last several months. This time has given me an opportunity to relax, think and over think every single decision that I've made in my life. Some of the decisions that I have made in my past were edgy, cool and sometimes even hip-but lately I feel like I've got a bad case of the blahs and the blase-ness has taken over any part of me that may have been cool. It is awful to admit this-but I am ready to change.
So I decided that I was going to be rad. I'm not really sure how one becomes "rad", the way I see it some people are just born cool. For me being "rad" looks like this. Ok but seriously lets think about what it means to be rad. According to urban dictionary rad means:
Damn. So how do I go about being rad. Ok so for me this is what "rad" looks like.
1. Healthy-like I'm the $hit kind of healthy. Like I'm so fit that I don't have to turn down any activity. I want to be strong, have stamina, and be an overall hard ass.
2. Happy-like sing in the morning kind of happy. I want to wake up in the morning and be happy to be alive. (Currently I am not so happy to be alive most days. In fact I was kinda disappointed that the world didn't end. Kinda joking, kinda not.)
3. Working in something that makes me incredibly happy and provides me a work life balance that I need.
4. Organized! Nothing makes me crazier than my unorganized house. I've been working on this, but still haven't gotten to the level of organization that puts my little anxious heart at ease.
5. Unafraid to try new things. I've really been trying to push myself to try new things. December was a huge month for me because I actually put one of my talents to work and participated in a holiday boutique. I want to keep trying new things-art projects, furniture remodeling, cooking, exercising-anything that has scared me in the past-I want to tackle. There is absolutely no reason that I can't do anything that I put my mind to. (My parents totally rocked that concept in to my head-yet I'm my biggest road block.)
This all leads me to say... here I go. I'm going to try this blogging thing. When I really think about it-- blogging is the best possible job for me. Think about it... I get to write about all of the things I'm trying and doing-the recipes I'm trying, the movies I'm seeing, the adventures I'm having, the crafts I'm making for my home. The hubs and I had a great converstion about this today and he supports me so much. I've never known another person (other than my parents) that genuiinely wants me to be happy just as much or more than I do. So here I go! I total promise that I will fall down, I will get back up and I will want to quit- but I am going to try. I'm going to try with everything that I have in me. My new full time job is to be rad. So if you have any ideas of ways that I can be rad-or you have some words of encouragement please feel free to give me some feedback.
Tomorrow I'm going to be coming up with my own personal statement and really make some realistic goals for myself. In the meantime to all of you my wonderful friends-keep on being RAD!
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